So while I was going through my divorce I took a sabbatical, (or “hiatus,” if you will), from stand up. I traveled to nearby and distant lands with the desire to do what I wanted to do at any given time, (opposed to what I felt I should be doing), and most of the time I succeeded. I laughed, cried, “got still,” danced in the rain (it was a concert, people), and made out with a bunch of very fortunate boys… In the end, I walked away with a bunch of life lessons that I hope will serve me well as I enter this next chapter in my life. And in no particular order they are:
1) Trust yourself. Don’t live your life by committee, which is looking for anything outside of yourself to tell you what you should be doing… Even if it seems crazy, or like a step backwards, get still, and ask yourself, “What would I do if I weren’t afraid?” Then wait for the answer and do it. Deep down you always know what’s best for you.
2) As Lewis Carroll said, “If you don’t know where you’re going any road will get you there.” F*** trying to plan your life out. At the end of the day I’ll end up exactly where I was meant to be, and I trust that that’ll be in a good place.
3) You’re really, freakin’ powerful… Whatever you want is yours, if you really want it. And if it doesn’t serve you well you can still get it just to know that you: a) don’t really want it, b) don’t really need it, or c) both.
4) Life truly is happening for you, not to you.
5) When it comes to pain, the only way out is truly in. You can intellectualize the pain, emotionalize it, and spiritualize it, but if you never learn to feel it, to just sit with it (opposed to trying to stop, control, ignore, or analyze it), you won’t allow the change that’s desiring to happen within you happen. Let it happen.
6) I can’t breathe without writing, without creating… If I don’t create, I die.
7) Everything is as you say it is. If you believe something is hard, so it shall be.
8) You can be in love with a man without possessing him in any way, shape, or form, and find delight in it. The even better news is that you don’t have to marry him or have children with him. You can move on, slowly or quickly, looking forward to the next love affair.
9) Never stop playing.
10) There are a lot of really awesome, compassionate people out there. Take great care to surround yourself with them. Let the people hell-bent on judging you go play by themselves.
11) “We’re all equal” is a difficult concept to accept every second of every day, but it’s absolutely true.
12) If something doesn’t feel right, even a little, don’t do it.
13) Creating things, whether it be a new life built on your own truth, or a work of art, is identical to the birth process of a human. And it can be painful… Additionally, when it comes to a new life, the old you has to die, and it takes courage to go through the process of killing your old self and grieving that loss. But if it’s something that must be done you can do it.
14) Be kind to yourself. Be patient. Love yourself the way you want others to, and tell yourself kind things. Smile. And, most importantly, let your light shine.